Friday, August 21, 2009

choose the reaction with the least amount of serial killing involved. Then react.

You'll all be happy to know that I survived my birthday. It didn't go like I planned, but nothing ever does. I had a good time, though. It wasn't a bad day, although in an attempt to be honest, I'll tell you, I did cry. Weird, right?

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.

This is partially because I watched the film The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and if you haven't seen that, you should know that you'll probably cry when you watch it. Especially if movies do that to you sometimes. But it's good. Very. And in moments of hysteria, I find that I am able to reposition my life into its proper perspective. Crying, I think, is a much healthier response to things than could be had. I choose the reaction with the least amount of serial killing involved. In the long run, everyone wins.

I got a new phone. It's incredible. My brother thinks I'm bragging. I'm not. It's just cool and I'm happy about it. That's all. Still no dress (the anna sui one, as if i needed to remind anyone) but it's because I bought a phone, which I think was a more responsible choice. And I thought, "Since I'm going to buy a phone and I've made quite a bit of money, I should get a ridiculous phone, because my old phone sucked so much" in those exact words. Come uppance, I think we'll call it. And I got a new computer, which I have already broken-- and unfortunately, I am not kidding about that, so I won't even get into it right now.

I've got a shoot tonight with Ryan Gift from nyc. It will be fun.

*And congratulations to my beautiful friend, Valerie, who's getting married to a really great guy, Jim on Saturday. I love you and I wish you all the best!

This also got me to thinking some weird thoughts. I'm officially "grown up" as it goes. Like, all the way. Everyone I know is having babies and getting married and buying houses in "good school districts." It's weird. It's weird because 1. I am not one of those people. Yes, I live among them, but I'm not doing any of those things and I'm really okay with that for right now. I'm glad they're doing it, though. As my mom says, "maybe seeing your friends do it will show you that it's not so awful."
I don't think it's awful, though. That's the point she's missing. I think it's great. I dig it. I'm just not in any rush to have a husband or a feeding schedule or a mortgage to think about. I'm still too reckless.
It's not like I think there's nothing else to look forward to other than turning middle aged, then old, and eventually dying if you're lucky. I don't think it's a bad thing, I just think it's a thing.

Alas, moms and grandmothers all over the world are whispering about people like me in kitchens everywhere like we've got the word "spinster" stitched on our foreheads.

and 2. because if everyone else is doing it, why is it that I had no desire to do it at all? Maybe I am really the crazy one.

but on Twitter, badass dude Karl Lagerfeld said,
"Don't look to the approval of others for your mental stability."

And I was reminded, yet again, of why he and I would be the best of friends.


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