Saturday, November 14, 2009

CHEATING: DON'T DO IT. (free therapy)

The subject of infidelity has come up a handful of times in my life in the last couple of days. It's weird for me to think about cheating on someone. I never have and I don't suppose I ever will. Maybe it's because I was cheated on before I had the chance to let my curiosity/drunkenness/stupidity get the best of me. Maybe it really is because he beat me to the punch (which was his theory, although I can say with some confidence that I had no intention or desire and only very little opportunity, but the point was, I didn't).

I have this friend who was "the other woman" in her current boyfriend's life for a long time. He finally broke it off with his now-ex and got with my friend. It's what she always wanted and it's what she got. What she didn't take into account (and what I fear so many people fail to take into account) is that if he cheated on his last girlfriend of 4 years with her, what makes her think there's something that's going to stop him from cheating on her, current girlfriend of 2 years? I love her, but that's stupid. I went through a lot of things to say to her when she talked to me about his suspected cheating. Part of me wanted to tell her it's karma for sneaking around with him when he was with someone else, but the smarter part of me just told her the truth.

Some people are sleazy. They don't care about other people and how they feel. Those people suck, but they're out there and most of the time, they're the ones everyone wants to be around. They're the worst kind of people because they go around playing games with people and leading them around until they can use them up. He might be one of these people and he might not. Just know that they exist and they're clever.

I never understood people who cheat when it's so much easier to just break up with someone then find someone else. Less baggage. Less drama. Who wants the hassle of dating and lying to two people at once? When someone cheats, they are saying "I don't love you." or, they're saying "I'm so stupid, I forgot I had a girlfriend/boyfriend, and so I picked up a drunk slut at a bar. My bad."

Either way, you should let that person go. Cut your losses. Seriously.
But we accept the love we think we deserve.

That's NOT advice, though. I don't give relationship advice.
I will, on the other hand, share my opinion.

LADIES: please stop letting the guys in your life treat you like bang-maids. there really are guys out there who want to make sure you're happy and fulfilled and enriched in YOUR life, too. Believe it or not, there are actually even guys out there who believe that you will make them happy and fulfill and enrich their lives. Find them. They're good. Stay away from guys who are taken. You can't just have something because you want it...you never know what kind of crazy bitch's home you might be wrecking.

GENTS: please remember not to take the love your woman gives you for granted. if you find someone you click with, just let it happen. don't spend so much time second guessing and doubting yourself and just let that love come to you. don't go off trying to find love elsewhere that you've already got at your disposal. it's wasteful and rude and very un-sexy. Don't cheat on your girlfriends. You can't have something just because you want it, either. You never know what kind of crazy bitch you can create by losing a woman's trust.

ALL: Don't jump to conclusions.Everything little thing isn't a sign that they're being unfaithful to you. Make sure your suspicions are founded and not just accusations. Be straightforward if you're suspicious about your lover cheating on you, but don't get hostile until you know if you have a reason to be. Oftentimes, your suspicions can manifest through projections you have of yourself or the way you've been feeling, so make sure you've thought about that, too.


from Le Love
WORD OF ADVICE: Unless you want to end up on Maury, CHEATING? DON'T DO IT.

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