Thursday, December 10, 2009

trying to give you Summer, but I'm Winter. wish I could make you Spring, but I Fall so hard.

There's a really big chance that I'm on the verge of a psychotic break. I don't like the Winter, even though I love the song 'Winter Time' by Steve Miller Band. I don't like that there isn't enough sunlight to produce the same amounts of serotonin in my brain or vitamin D in my body to make me feel like I do in sunny (warmer) months. It's science, but I hate it whether I can argue it's fact-hood or not. For instance, in the Summer we get about 15 decent hours of sunlight a day compared to the Winter, when we get about about 10. Not only that, cold weather yields less energy, which makes people moodier, on average. Plus, your regular American 20-something has a tendency to indulge in carbs, stimulants (coffee, caffeine, etc) and alcohol in the winter to temporarily boost their moods. And while, yes it does work for a little while, it is often overlooked that eventually, a crash is inevitable...which makes you feel worse. And even if you don't mind love handles or a caffeine crash or a hangover, I do. It seems like a lose-lose to me, because I hate being cold (and anyone who knows me even kind of well knows that I'm always cold, all the time, everyday, all day) and Winter months sure as balls aren't doing anything to solve that, plus I feel like shit all the time and hate everybody*.
*maybe not hate, and maybe not everybody, but I am certainly less inclined to patience and understanding during this time of the yearr. 

via K9 Magazine 
It doesn't help, either, that there's always something going on. It's hard to hibernate until the sun comes back when you've got a million places to be all at once. It's exhausting. Excruciating. I just want to crawl into bed with some ginger ale and an endless supply of thoughtful and understated cinematic gems, a variety of well written literature, and a case or two of Argentinian Malbec until next Summer. Screw the Spring. It's still cold sometimes, too.  

I was born in Colorado. From there, my family moved to South Dakota, so I know what real cold is. I know what real snow looks like. 3 inches sure as hell wasn't getting anybody's school cancelled. I've actually been snowed inside my house, unlike most of the people in the Nashville area, so it's a big change. Winters in this part of the country ore apretty mild to that. But even having said that, I don't like it any more. Maybe it's that in a weird way, the Winter is always the end of things. It's an inevitable metaphor for the death of the dates on the last year's calendar.  It's like a big 'fuck you' to all the newness and life of the Spring and the freshness and vibrancy of the Summer. Winter is the worst for Autumn, because in a manner of speaking, Winter's what does it in.

I had a full day shooting with Tony Denning today. We did some high art shots (think Art in America or something you might see hanging at some fancy black-tie showing at such and such's posh gallery). I can't really explain the concept to you, as I have next to no knowledge of the technicalities of experimental photography. All I know is there will be some really intense photos of me, exposed multiple times to appear that I'm layered atop myself, traced in light. It's probably just better if I wait and let you see them after he gets done with the post-work, so I'll just do that. Then, we shot some stuff for a concept series of his that will either scare you to death or blow your mind. Thematically, we'll call it mature, because there is nudity and violence and fear and pain, but the intensity shows and that's the point. It was a really great acting excercise where for 1/gazillionth of a nanosecond, I was pretty sure I was going to suffocate and die. But I didn't. How nice for everyone?

I feel like I should take this time to say that I consider myself to be an artist. It's up for debate because of the broad range of things that people claim as "art" but when I'm working on something, when I'm creating art, I can honestly say that the connection I feel to those of like-mind is unparalleled. I'm in it for the process of creation, which I find to be a very sacred thing. Today, being unlike anything I've ever done EVER and could never really get the opportunity to do again, was one of those sacred things. A holy moment that lasted the full 10 hours of the shoot. That's a pretty good sign, if you ask me.

The images from the second set of photos won't be for everyone, but for the people who see them for what they are, as opposed to what they think they're supposed to feel, I'd say you're in for a macabre treat. I was more than pleased, and that was even before he really got to do anything in the way of post and cleanup. Thirdly, we did some shot playing around with cigarette smoke. I'm calling those the "Bad Cop" set. If you see them, you'll instantly see exactly what I mean when I say that.

If you ever get the chance, work with Tony Denning! Whether it's fashion or art or something else entirely DO THAT SHIT. He's cool and he really knows he's doing. Like, really. Plus, we have the same taste in music, which isn't exactly a rare thing in my life, but always a treat. And if you're in Nashville, do it stat, cause he's moving to Ohio and that's a hell of a drive.

Today, I created a permanent tinyurl for this blog. It's 

Don't click on that, because OBVIOUSLY, it's not going to take you anywhere but right back here, since it's the link to this blog. Just to save you the trouble...

1 comment:

Jessica Druck said...

Hah Steve Miller Band can't make anyone love the cold...

Dig the tunes on here.


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