Friday, January 29, 2010

leave with love given.

It's strange to think that the last things we said to some people are the last things we'll say to them. Stranger how many of those things we said but didn't mean. And how many things we never got the chance to say.

 I had this really good friend who died when I was pretty young. Still in high school. We were always close. Ever since 7th grade when he moved here and got put in pretty much all my classes (even band, for the very short week he and the instructor didn't totally clash). We were destined to be friends from the start. Anyway, there was this accident and he died when we were in 10th grade. I'll spare you the details for all our sakes, but I remember the last thing I ever said to him. We hadn't seen each other in a while with school and life and being 15 and we ran into each other in the hallway at school. It was in the tunnel past those lockers upstairs leading into the freshman seats at the gym. If you went to my high school, you know where I'm talking about. otherwise, use your imagination.We were looking through the glass into the lobby. I guess because we hadn't seen each other in a little while, but he said "I'm glad I got to see you today" as we were leaving. I said, "I'm glad you got to see me today, too." Out of context, it sounds horrible, but that's exactly the kind of relationship we had, so it's actually perfect. I say that to people sometimes, now. It's not that I'm anticipating anyone going anywhere, but it's usually good for a smile...and I like to part with those, too.

Since then, I always try to leave with love given for that exact reason. I want the people I love to know I love them. It's simple. If they die or I die, or one of us moves away to...wherever and I never see them again, I would want them to know that I loved them while I could. I obviously had no idea that was going to be the last time I saw him, even though he was coming to the party down the road from my house I was going to the night of the accident. I suppose that's how it goes, though. No one ever see these things coming.

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